A week has passed, jetlag has subsided, and I still haven't concluded my Asia blog. Here 'tis. And with apologies for unoriginality, I'm ripping my lead off one of America's great college hockey writers. Forgive me, Dad.
In his "Ballad of East and West", Rudyard Kipling begins "Oh East is East, and West is West and never the twain shall meet." Having spent weeks in chaotic Jakarta and the endless Mongol Horde, I figured my weekend in Japan would be a slide back into the West - a weekend where I might see the twain meeting, globalization proving Rudy outdated.
Not.
Perhaps no country (save the U.S.) conjures as many conflicting images as Japan -- Zen and Kawasaki, Sumo and Ichiro, Geisha and bottle-blondes. Hell-bent on finding all of this (in a weekend), I hit up Kyoto, Japan's ancient capital (and - I bet you didn't know - the home of the world's first novel). The images were striking. I remember:
... Enough temples, rock gardens, bamboo fences, wooden houses, and five-foot-wide streets to make you think you've wandered into an endless Children's Museum exhibit -- you New Englanders know what I'm talking about.
... the fact that English gets you farther in Jakarta than Kyoto. Exhausted from two flights, three airports, two trains, and schlepping 500 pounds of luggage, I settled into a taxi -- only to have to dig the Japanese equivalent of "ANA Hotel" out of my Lonely Planet. I nealry fripped.
... happening upon two apprentice Geisha being swarmed by Japanese tourists like rock stars. With only about 1000 of their kind left in Japan, Geisha sightings are rare, and the fact that I saw three (one later in a taxi, while I was listening to "Livin' La Vida Loca" in Japanese resonate from a bar) is impressive. And lucky.
... reading English better left untranslated, e.g. a tavern called "Sent James Club" (why and by whom?) or the popular thirst-quencher "Pocari Sweat."
... the MLB playoff coverage only focusing on the Japanese actors. Randy Johnson's implosion ($16,000,000, 3.0 IP, 9 H, 5 R, 5 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, 2 HR, 15.00 ERA) was only as important as Hideki Matsui's impression of it.
... leaving my hotel moments after finding out the White Sox had eliminated the Red Sox, and not feeling that bad about it. I was exploring Kyoto, dammit, and there was more to life than the Red Sox. (Remind me of this next April. And May. And June. And July...)
... eating needlessly expensive sushi and wondering what the hell the big deal is.
... businessmen in suits kicking off their shoes and ducking into even the most touristy Buddhist temples for a few meditative moments.
... hitting a gong. You haven't lived until you've hit an Asian gong.
... the two "Love Stones" at one of the temples I visited. Apparently if you can walk the 30 or so feet between them with your eyes closed, you'll find your true love. What they don't tell you is that a flight of stairs sits directly behind one of them -- so if you're not destined for true love, you'll tumble and break your neck. Brecht would so dig this.
... the fact that you can't tip anyone. Capitalism shmapitalism. The porter at my hotel (who wore a kimono and bowed repeatedly to me - heh heh heh. cliches.) wouldn't accept gratuities, and since you pay your restaurant bills at cash registers, you can't tip waiters. Perhaps it's not Zen, or just a "My lord, that would dishonour him" thing.
... an "Ono" train station. Please tell me this isn't what I think it is.
... the fact that street addresses are ordered according to the dates they were built rather than numerically. Because this makes perfect sense.
While I didn't have a Bill Murray, "Lost in Translation" moment, Japan sufficiently fulfilled its weirdness quota. It's modern, techno-savvy (heated toilet seats!), and its food is safe for consumption ... but instead of Western emulations, these are just vehicles to be modern Japanese. If the Kyotoites lament their tradition falling slave to Ronald McDonald and Uncle Sam, I didn't see it. Embracing the foreign and the new hasn't diminished the Japanese shine -- flirt as they may with Americanization, they aren't rushing to commit to it.
So, Rudy, you're right: East is East and West is West. And mark it down, this twain ain't meeting any time soon.
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