Days and Haze (6/14/2008)

gypt has been the ultimate "not us" for millennia: the king was
called Pharaoh, the people wrote with pictograms, worshipped a god
with a falcon's head (would have loved to have seen the nurse in THAT
delivery room), and for Pete's sake, even the transitional vowel is a
"Y." And of course, it will forever be known as the empire that
wouldn't let the people go.

Unless you're an archaeologist, though, most that remains of Ancient
Egypt will disappoint. The Pyramids and temples are grand and
majestic, but with few exceptions, most artifacts begin to run
together. A tomb is a tomb, an necklace is a necklace. Great – there's
pharaoh overcompensating. Ho-hum. Luxor is grand, and the Egyptian
Museum the ultimate geek's attic – galleries of priceless treasures
that you saw in your sixth-grade history book. Remember, though, that
Egypt has been pilfered more than any other ancient civilization; the
best stuff, such as the Rosetta Stone and Nefertiti's bust, rests
abroad. Ultimately, I guess this means it's far better to steal than
to create.

No other city – in Egypt or elsewhere – could have prepared me Cairo.
The city's superlatives, not all desirable, are legion: with 20
million inhabitants, it is the largest metropolis in the Middle East
and on the entire African continent (just don't mention that it's
technically "Africa"). As gateway to the Nile Delta, Cairo sits next
to the most fertile farmland in the world (Nile silt can yield two
planting cycles in a year.) To counter, though, Cairo is the world's
most polluted city – among the culprits are its 10 million (check
that) cars, most of which still drink leaded gasoline and all of which
honk incessantly. Indeed, staying clean in Cairo can call for multiple
showers daily, but by the time you turn off the water, you're already
sweating again.

What the in-and-out, chain-hotel, group-bus tourists miss, though, is
the hustle and energy of modern Cairo – a daily decathlon which
challenges the most experienced traveler, and spits him out, mired and
tired, exhilarated and exhausted. Venture downtown for a day of
sightseeing, getting lost, going deaf amid the cacophony of car horns,
and dodging masses of locals wherever you go; then go out to dinner
and smoke sheesha with friends till midnight. Lather, rinse, repeat.

It was this Cairo – be it in upscale Zamalek, along the tranquil Nile,
or below the highrises of Nasr City – that I'll miss most. Come as a
friend of one (as I did; thanks, TJ), and suddenly you know 10 young
Egyptians who will talk to you about anything from Euro 2008 (Go
Germany!) or the dialectic differences between Egypt and Dubai. Go
home exhausted and get ready for another day of snubbing pharaoh.